Give me a good Joke

"Do it"

exorcistkandayu:

[25. My muse kisses yours for the first time]

//ohgod

He didn’t know why he was doing it… it was as he had no control over his body. Maybe it was the alcohol talking… maybe he was just desperate for some sort of human contact… or maybe he had simply gone insane. Either way, he couldn’t stop himself from suddenly leaning forward and pressing his lips against the reaper’s. 

Undertaker hummed lightly against the samurai’s lips as he pressed a finger between their mouths. “Now as much as I like a good kiss on the lips, I think you’re a wee bit drunk for it.” He giggled as he gently pushed his companion down off his toes.  He could smell and most definitely taste the poison on Kanda’s lips lingering with a tingle. He bowed down to the Japanese man, and hefted him over his shoulder, “Let’s not make a scene in public, this is a nice neighborhood after all, heehee!” He swished lightly from side to side as he carried the Japanese man up the hill and towards their rented room. At the time, the choice seemed economical, but he was quite certain that he’d be spending the night locked away in an adjoining washroom or closet if the samurai didn’t re-learn personal space quickly.

exorcistkandayu:

"Then why go to a bar? Why not simply go to a hotel room? Or a church? Or anywhere else in the world, but where humans flock for the purpose of socialization and giddy glee? Hee hee, you make such a poor liar!" he hummed as he sat up to drain his mug, then shrugged and laid directly over the samurai’s knees, much to the other’s chagrin. "And if you wanted to be alone mentally, you’d tune me out instead of just griping at me to go away."

Sensing a murderous aura emanating from Kanda, he slid back up into his stool and sipped down half another mug. “And there’s no need for such foul language, you know. Your complaints have been filed, processed, and duly ignored. Filing in duplicate, triplicate or more will result in the same course of action: ignoring the request.” He prattled off, reminiscing slightly of his heavy paperwork days in the library.

"But I do wonder… do you care about the Akuma? Who they were, what they did, or what happens after you chop them up into bitty bits," he continued, hissing lowly in the dark haired man’s ear, loud enough to hear, soft enough to remain unintelligible to the rest of the bar patrons. "Or even what will become of you when you leave that vessel called a body behind?”

"I came here for the drinks," Kanda snapped, about to violently push the other man off but was too slow before the other man was already back in his seat. "No other reason. The fact that there are people around doesn’t mean a shit to me." He took another sip of his beer, wishing for the other man to just go away and leave him alone. 

"And even if I did gripe at you to leave, you probably wouldn’t." The other man was starting to make him angry, and he would have no problem whipping out his sword and thrusting it right into the other man’s heart… if he even had one. Kanda wasn’t too sure he did. 

Undertaker moved closer to hiss in his ear, and he gritted his teeth in anger. ”I don’t care what happens to the Akuma,” he said, finishing off his drink. “And if I die, the Order will probably just recycle me into a new body just like they did the last time. Now get out of my fucking face.” 

The reaper pouted out his lips as he patted Kanda on the shoulder, leaning in close again. “They can’t. Your dear beloved took a little piece, and they can’t put you back together ever again.” He tapped the shoulder twice more before quickly gliding to the opposite side of the room to fetch a breadstick. He munched on it happily as he took a few more into his hands, carrying them back to his seat as he leaned next to the irate man again, keeping his voice low.

"Which really brings me to why I’m here. Yu, dear friend, are the number one administrative burden of the office of grim reapers in the entire northern hemisphere. Nobody knows what exactly we should be doing with you." He shrugged as he slipped the end of another loaf into his mouth, munching a bit before continuing, "We can’t exactly cast judgement on something that’s not all together there, so we’ve got to put you back together ourselves. And since no one in the office really wanted Yu, I volunteered to help brighten up your day! So stop being so glum Yu terrible thing Yu, and realize that you’re stuck with me."

f-abulush:

REBLOG AND SEE IF YOU GET A COLOR.
PURPLE: I don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.
YELLOW: I wish we were friends in real life.
RED: I love you with a burning passion.
GREY: I wish we’d talk more.
TURQUOISE: I would hug you if we met
PINK: I love your blog it’s one of my favourites
TEAL: We have a lot in common.
BLUE: You are my tumblr crush.
ORANGE: I don’t like your blog.
WHITE: MARRY ME PLEASE.
GREEN: I think you’re cute.
CORAL: I think you’re beautiful
BLACK: I would date you.
BROWN: I don’t like you.

f-abulush:

REBLOG AND SEE IF YOU GET A COLOR.

PURPLEI don’t talk to you but I really love your blog.

YELLOWI wish we were friends in real life.

REDI love you with a burning passion.

GREYI wish we’d talk more.

TURQUOISE: I would hug you if we met

PINKI love your blog it’s one of my favourites

TEALWe have a lot in common.

BLUEYou are my tumblr crush.

ORANGEI don’t like your blog.

WHITEMARRY ME PLEASE.

GREENI think you’re cute.

CORAL: I think you’re beautiful

BLACKI would date you.

BROWNI don’t like you.

torpidprince:

walking through the city on a convention morning like

image

sarah-the-artiste:

howtobeterrell:

mo-504:

mercuryjones:

The sorting hat is always right

I. AM. DEAD.

daniel-radcliffe-naked-gay-sex-scene-killing-your-darlings-mister-scandal

daniel-radcliffe-gay-sex-scene-killing-your-darlings-mister-scandaldaniel-radcliffe-naked-gay-sex-scene-killing-your-darlings-mister-scandal

always

I’M CHOKING

hello0okitty:

pincie:

Please reblog if you are a girl and have ever been made to feel ashamed of one or more of these things (wanting to prove a point to some asshole):

-your weight

-your clothing choice

-your amount of make up

-having sex

-not having sex

-breast size

-having your period

-saying no

-not appreciating catcalls 

-masturbating

-body hair

My character is dead and yours is playing with a ouija board. Send me a “↝” for the short phrase my character would guide your character’s hands to spell.
The “turnoff” “turnon” game. Ask me anything and I will answer if it is a turn off or turn on.

faithlesswhore:

Do this. I am bored as hell.